Adele

Pennsylvania, a life time ago....


We were laughing. I was always getting into arguments with the GPS, and Marie thought it was funny.  Most times it was.  This time it was out of control. Marie and I were on one of our excursions that started out in Pennsylvania Dutch country and we were ending it looking for a Lilac farm. She saw it on line and wanted to visit it.  She was hoping to pick up some Lilacs for her and Susan. The GPS had the address punched into it, but it kept taking us on these long back roads to a state park. No matter how we tried to get around it, we always ended up at the same state park. At one point we drove through the park, and still, no Lilac farm.  It was a victory for me, the GPS was wrong.  It really was a good laugh.  We found the farm, not too far from the state park, by stopping a few times and asking directions.


Marie and I got out of the car and walk to the building. Once inside, we stepped over a dog and looked around the shop.  There was music playing very softly. I couldn't place who was singing, but the song I knew very well.  "To make you feel my love" was floating in the air.  Bob Dylan wrote and recorded the song.  I have heard many versions, but I like the original. It was rough, and sounded very genuine. It is a song that can make me feel very emotional.  After I got married, I'd listened to it, and often thought of Marie. I really believed that I would have given anything, I believed I was doing everything, to prove to her that I loved her (I was at a Lilac farm wasn't I?).  Now I'm listening to those words, but not with a rough voice, the words sounded silky. 


"...When the evening shadows and the stars appears,
And there is no one there to dry your tears.
I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love..."



The words moved so smoothly through my thoughts, I was falling for her voice. She was moving me.  I looked at my wife, and asked her if she knew who was singing. She didn't.  I asked the woman behind the counter, and she told me her name was Adele. I never heard of her before. As the song was fading away, I looked again at my wife, and thought..."This is in the running. This could be our song". 


We left the farm with Lilacs in various formations, and the odor from inside the car was pouring out of the open windows. We made it home, and Marie went inside to show Susan the different Lilac products she had bought for them both.  I went to the computer and looked up Adele. I listened to the song again. It wasn't Dylan, but it was giving the same message, the same emotion. It was as if they were both saying "I'll give you my all, until it hurts. Then I'll give more". What a strong feeling to have. I would listen to that song on my mp3 player over and over.


Today...


I listened to her song again. It was the umpteenth time today. Each time I heard it, I sang with it loudly, learning the lyrics, massacring it, but feeling better with each verse. The lyrics are incredible. I don't know how she did it but her song, "Set Fire to the Rain", hit home again. It moved me, giving me passage from anger to realization, and from realization to redemption.  How did she know I'd feel this way?  How could she know anyone could feel this way.  It hurts. I have so much anger, so much ... rage.  How did Adele once again - describe me, move me, make me feel, I don't know what, something. I was feeling something but it was more than just the pain. Maybe emotion, to be released.


"...But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say they were never true, never true,
And the games you play you would always win, always win.

 But I set fire to the rain,
Watched it pour as I touched your face,
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!"



The song "Set Fire to the Rain" really stunned me.  I purchased her CD a while ago after hearing "Could have had it all" on the radio.  It was a strong song reflecting somewhat of what I was feeling while going through the divorce with Marie. But it wasn't until recently that when I heard "Set Fire to the Rain" on the radio I searched out the words.  I felt she was singing about my relationship with my now ex-wife. All of the words I felt were true. They burned my heart as if they were healing the wounds and putting the pieces back together. I was shocked. I started to share the song with my truck as the words bounce back off the inside of the windshield. I was  singing so loud and hard that it became almost tuneless. My voice at times fading away, cracking during my rendition, but it was making me feel better. I wish I wrote it. I sang it like I did.  I felt for those stuck at stop lights, transforming them from commuters to witnesses as I play my personal opera out in my truck, armed with the words of Adele. I laughed, I sometimes cried, but I know now that I'll get over it, anger and all. 


If you click on the title it will take you to YouTube and Adele performing "Set Fire to the Rain".


All praise goes to God.  Thank you Lord.

Believing in you Jesus

I feel the pull,
I feel the pain.
Is that you Lord?
I can't see through the rain.

It feels like lighting crashes all the time.
I feel my heart tightening - then I pray.
Relief comes slow, finally leaves.
Back it comes for another day.

I lost my life years ago,
washed from my body and born in His Glory.
Faith has always been my biggest gift.
Although some have said this is only a story.
I am believing in you Jesus.

So let the rain fall and I'll deal with the pain.
Having you so close, it will fade away.
The Cross on Calvary brought great relief.
The blood may have stain them,
but it washed away my defeat.
I am believing in you Jesus.
Asking you to love me and knowing that's what you do